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Showing posts from February, 2011

Strategically Listening

                    1.   I listen to others when they are speaking to learn, and don’t allow myself to think about what I’m going to say next. 2. I avoid interrupting others to allow them time to complete their thoughts. I resist changing the subject prematurely. 3. I allow for periods of silence, and don’t fill every pause with words. 4. I observe the person's body language & monitor my own to convey interest. 5. I listen for the speaker's position. I listen for their main point and what facts they are using to support their rationale. I separate their facts from opinions. 6. I move the conversation along by using open-ended questions such as "tell me about", "describe", "explain" and "what happened next?" to probe the speaker’s thoughts & feelings. 7. I restrict my use of close-ended questions, which can be simply answered by "yes", "no", or a short response. I do use this technique to clarify

Importunity with Class

Importunity Defined - I like another word, which is rarely used. The word is “importunity”. It means shamelessly to refuse rejection. To have importunity means that rejection no longer bothers you. Importunity and Relationships - You understand if you have importunity, rejection may eventually lead to a friendship if you just have patience. It might become painfully aware to the other person (s) that you’re not going away. Importunity and Class - Because you act with such class, their subconscious mind will not allow them to continue to reject you.

Invite Your Friends

Why don’t we ask new believers with a wide sphere of influence to immediately host a party to introduce their lost friends to Christ?   Then, a pastor, a small group facilitator, and the new believer could give a 5 to 10 minute presentation about a new life in Christ. Then, we could even use these parties to launch new Small Groups from those who come to Christ through them. This sphere of influence strategy really worked for Matthew, Cornelius, and a Samaritan lady. Why don’t we use it? After Matthew came to Christ, he immediately invited everyone within his sphere of influence to come and meet Jesus. Apparently, it was a big hit because this small group gathering made the Pharisees furious.  Matthew 9:9-13 (MSG)  "Passing along, Jesus saw a man at his work collecting taxes. His name was Matthew. Jesus said, "Come along with me." Matthew stood up and followed him. 10-11Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew's house with his close fo

Dan Dehaan's Metro Bible Study

In the late 1970s, I attended an interdenominational Bible Study called “the Metro Bible Study” in Metro Atlanta, which began as a Small Group in “Dad” Charles Ellis’ basement. It was taught by Dan Dehaan, and eventually outgrew Dad Ellis’ basement by moving to the Griffin Middle School.  When I first started attending, it had grown to 300 teenagers who meet ever Tuesday night and featured Contemporary Christian Music played by “The Pat Terry Group”.  As the Metro Bible Study continued rapid growth, they eventually moved to the First Baptist Church of Smyrna, Georgia where it peaked around 1200 attendees.  In the summer of 1982, Dan Dehaan died in a plane crash and teacher John Riley took over. Under John Riley, the Bible Study grew to about 1,500 after eventually moving to Mt. Paran Church of God. When I was first invited to the “Metro Bible Study”, I didn’t go to hear Dan Dehaan teach because I didn’t know who he was.  What I went to hear was “the Pat Terry

Remembering Names

In one of my previous jobs, I was required by my employer to attend a Dale Carnegie public speaking course. (See  www.dalecarnegie.com  for more information).   The class had about 40 to 50 attendees, and the instructor began the course by teaching us how to remember each other’s name.  After each person got up, they would tell us his or her name, where they worked, and what things they like to do. As each person spoke, we were supposed to remember each person, by associating their names by what they told us.   The first assignment of the class was to get up and say each person’s name from memory.  We had to remember from memory EVERYONE’S NAME!  As each attendee was called upon to stand up and say everyone’s name, it served as a review for everyone else in the class.  Amazingly, every attendee was about to quote everyone else’s name from memory including me.  To this day when I see someone from the class in the newspaper, I can at least remember thei

Connecting with Prospects

Have you ever noticed how retailers are really hungry for your feedback? If you look for surveys on your receipts and fill them out, you can get anything from free burgers to greeting cards.  Do you know why they do those surveys? Those surveys help retailers understand what’s going on in their stores to resolve problems quickly. Smart retailers understand the value of immediate feedback. It’s extremely important that you contact your visitors quickly. If you are a Pastor, you can’t be everywhere, but those contacts can be your window to your entire Church.  I’ve seen Small Group Leaders arrive 45 minutes late or even not show up at all. I’ve heard Small Group Leaders undercut their Church's Leadership, curse in class, and make lewd comments. If you’re not contacting visitors, you’re losing a lot of valuable information and probably losing visitors and members, too. When I was a kid in the 70s, my family visited the First Baptist Church of Dallas,

Kinder, Gentler Church Small Groups

On more than one occasion, my family has changed Churches because we haven't been able to find a small group that we liked in the time slot that we liked it. Earlier in our marriage, we wanted to attend both Church and a Small Group before 11:00 A. M. Because we liked to get up at the same time on Sundays as the weekdays, we preferred going to Church earlier.  If we couldn't find a quality early Small Group, we'd even look for one at another Church to meet our needs and change Churches.  The Church might have had a great Small Group at a latter time, but that didn't meet our needs because we wanted to attend earlier.  We'd still change. A problem that we have with Small Groups is that some Churches shrink them too small.  Sunday morning Small Groups are usually open, which means that they do not require a commitment to attend.  Therefore, people not regularly coming is a problem. If the Church shrinks them to 8 to 12, this means only