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Strategically Listening

                    1. I listen to others when they are speaking to learn, and don’t allow myself to think about what I’m going to say next.

2. I avoid interrupting others to allow them time to complete their thoughts. I resist changing the subject prematurely.

3. I allow for periods of silence, and don’t fill every pause with words.

4. I observe the person's body language & monitor my own to convey interest.

5. I listen for the speaker's position. I listen for their main point and what facts they are using to support their rationale. I separate their facts from opinions.

6. I move the conversation along by using open-ended questions such as "tell me about", "describe", "explain" and "what happened next?" to probe the speaker’s thoughts & feelings.

7. I restrict my use of close-ended questions, which can be simply answered by "yes", "no", or a short response. I do use this technique to clarify their position or to obtain a commitment.

8. To avoid an argument, I regularly paraphrase back to the speaker to confirm my understanding of their position. To paraphrase back does not mean that I agree, but it does mean that I understand.

9. Occasionally, I’ll use comments that confirm to the speaker that I understand their feelings.

10. I routinely summarize the speaker's content & feelings especially if they have a tendency to ramble.

                   This helps them to clarify their thoughts. I also use this technique before sharing a different point of view.
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