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Kinder, Gentler Church Small Groups


On more than one occasion, my family has changed Churches because we haven't been able to find a small group that we liked in the time slot that we liked it.

Earlier in our marriage, we wanted to attend both Church and a Small Group before 11:00 A. M.

Because we liked to get up at the same time on Sundays as the weekdays, we preferred going to Church earlier. 

If we couldn't find a quality early Small Group, we'd even look for one at another Church to meet our needs and change Churches. 

The Church might have had a great Small Group at a latter time, but that didn't meet our needs because we wanted to attend earlier. 

We'd still change.

A problem that we have with Small Groups is that some Churches shrink them too small. 

Sunday morning Small Groups are usually open, which means that they do not require a commitment to attend. 

Therefore, people not regularly coming is a problem. If the Church shrinks them to 8 to 12, this means only 2 or 3 might actually attend on any given Sunday morning. 

Some churches pull adult attendees for their children's or student's departments to work each Sunday morning, so you might be sitting there by yourself if your teaching. 

One week I visited a large Church when I was Single. It turned out that it was only me and the teacher. 

He sat there and lectured me for over a hour without asking for input. It was really sad.

I don't know why, but it is not uncommon for Small Groups to attract what I call mean people. 

People who think that they know more about the Bible than anyone else, and they are mean to people who attempt to share. 

There I've said it, but some of them can be really rude. 

In addition, it's not that uncommon for a small group to be lead by a rude person. 

If a Church is not teaching their leaders the importance of not being rude, rudeness is probably a real problem in their Small Groups. 

Their Small Groups are probably running off more people than they attract. 

If you hear Church leaders train their teachers, your probably never heard of this mentioned, but it really is a BIG problem.

When you are visiting Small Groups, ask yourself "Is the leader a kind person?" "Does this leader allow unkindness in their Small Group?" 

If you can't find a leader, who is managing their Small Group conflicts. I suggest that you keep looking. 

Otherwise, just go and keep your mouth shut. If you speak, you'll become a target. 

Better yet look for a lecture.

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