Reading People's Faces

75% to 90% of all communication comes not from what is being said, but how it is said, and who is doing the speaking.

Not only does the meaning come from the inflections in the speaker’s voice, but also upon the countenance of the speaker. 

Therefore, communication is a combination of words, inflections, countenance, and body language.

When we attempt to teach, we need to guard against relying too heavily on logic, and think more about the psychology of learning. 

Think of your message as a beverage, and yourself as the cup that delivers it. How difficult is it to take a cool sip of water from a filthy cup? 

Do people struggle to accept your message because they have a hard time just getting past you? What mannerism do you have that put people off?

When you are thinking negative thoughts, there are just too many none verbal clues in your face, tone, countenance, and body language to give those negative thoughts away. 

For example if you’re angry, your voice has a tendency to rise and your face flushes. 

If you dislike someone, you have a tendency not to look at him or her, while they speak. 

The only way to prevent other people from picking up on your negative thoughts and being turned off by them is simply not to think negative thoughts.

Let’s liken your mind to a submarine submerged in the depths of the sea. 

The air on the submarine’s insides keeps it from being crushed by its outside (or the ocean’s pressure). 

By choosing to think healthy thoughts about others, you keep from being crushed into negative thoughts about them. 

You may think that other people have you down; however, in reality, it’s your thoughts about them that have your down. It's not enough to try not to think negative thoughts. 

You have to choose to think healthy thoughts to keep the negative ones out. Replace your negative thoughts with the positive aspects about others. 

Each morning emphatically say out loud. “I focus on what’s right in others. I fill my mind with good things”.

In human interaction, there is an uncanny need for balance commonly called the Law of Reciprocity. 

If you genuinely look out for the interest of others, they will pick up on that. 

They will want to do the same for you. If you’re just out for yourself, then others will want to not listen to you.

 You may have heard it said that what goes around comes around. That's how the Law of Reciprocity works.

Now, let's talk a moment about your smile. Did you know that a frown is like a stop light for human contact? 

Although a frown may feel more natural, you can (& should) master the art of a genuine smile. 

First, get your head screwed on right each morning, by using the Law of Replacement. 

Then say, “I smile all the time”. This may not be true; however, you say it for it to become true. Emphatically saying things out loud is a way of underlining your thoughts. 

If you don’t use the Law of Replacement first, your smile can and will be artificial.

If you genuinely smile at others and are glad to see them, people will be attracted to you, and want to learn from you. 

If you frown and have a bad attitude, people will run unless of course your shared poor attitude attracts them. 

You attract or repel others however you are. The same can be said about other people’s impact on you. 

If you allow yourselves to have prolonged contact with a person with an entrenched negative mind-set, you’ll have a tendency to pick up their negative thoughts.

Lastly, here’s an interesting test to try. Next time you’re in a meeting. Cross you arms and see how long it takes for the other attendees to cross their arms. 

Learn back on your chair and observe how long it takes for others to do the same. As we speak with others, we reflect our behavior back and forth between ourselves. 

Choose intimate relationships based upon who you would like to become.