How to Handle Angry People

It is amazing how quickly a beautiful day can be over taken by a violent storm. 

After my car was severely damaged in a recent hailstorm, I found myself pulling up Doppler radar in the early afternoons to check for approaching storms. 

One Friday, we invited all our prospects over for lunch.

We set out a couple of 10 by 10 canopies to grille out. 

Everything was going well until my wife called from home to tell me that a violent storm was fast approaching. 

I ran out of my office to pull down the tents and park the prospect’s vehicles in the warehouse in case of hail. 

When I started doing this, it was still beautiful outside, but we barely got finished before the storm hit.

Emotions are little bit like that spring storm. Everything seems fine, but before you know it. 

You've been sucked into another person's emotional storm. 

Their facial expression, demeanor, tone, and subject matter pull you into their storm. 

Before it's all over, you ask yourself. What just happened? 

We get caught up into the emotional storm of others.

One of the hottest things on TV right when I'm writing this is American Idol. One reason for its popularity is the conflict between the judges. 

The tension stems from how each judge thinks differently. 

For example, Simon normally says something direct to each contestant. Paula attempts to soften her criticism with kindness. 

The judges get upset with each other based upon their individual communication styles. The result is big ratings. 

***The truth is there are negative and positive aspects to every situation & person. We differ in how we process this information.

If we don't purposely fill our minds with healthy thoughts, we will eventually gravitate into a negative mind set.

***A negative thought pattern can eventually lead to destructive behavior. 

If you say, if I try to make a friend, they'll reject me. Therefore, you don't try, and then you're alone in a group of people. 

If you practice this thought pattern long enough, you'll end up hating the group and leaving. 

On the other hand, it takes effort to construct a healthy thought pattern. 

The way you do this is by replacing pessimistic thoughts with positive ones. This is done one thought at a time. 

Say & keep saying out loud "if I go to make a friend, I might make one." Eventually, you should begin to think differently and act accordingly. 

When you don't purposely fill your minds with good thoughts, you will eventually be overcome with bad ones.

Here are some ways that I have discovered to prepare for emotional storms:

GET UP EARLY. Take the time to read healthy material before you start each day.

DO MENTAL CHECKUPS. Monitor your thoughts, mood, and conversations throughout the day.

SMILE. When you approach someone, it's amazing how something as simple as a smile can open doors. 

It's extremely difficult for the other person to be rude to you while you are smiling at them. 

(I think that smiling even works while talking on the phone. It comes through in your voice. Of course, you have to express concern, and know when not to smile, but overall smile).

BE EXTREMELY FRIENDLY with other people. When you are proactively being friendly, it makes people really uncomfortable to be abrupt with you.

STAY CALM. When someone is angry and is raising their voice at you, you can feel your emotions matching theirs. 

By staying calm and quietly responding, the other person will eventually calm down to your emotional level.

LOOK AWAY. Normally, it’s better to look at the speaker; however, a lot of anger is shown by facial expressions. If someone is losing control, look away.

PARAPHRASE BACK. Calmly, repeat back to the upset person what they are saying. Paraphrasing simply means that you understand them, and does not mean that you agree.